Lent Day 20
by Michael King
Exodus 20:18-21
Now when all the people saw the thunder and the flashes of lightning and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking, the people were afraid[d] and trembled, and they stood far off and said to Moses, “You speak to us, and we will listen; but do not let God speak to us, lest we die.” Moses said to the people, “Do not fear, for God has come to test you, that the fear of him may be before you, that you may not sin.” The people stood far off, while Moses drew near to the thick darkness where God was.
Romans 7:13-25
Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was sin, producing death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure. For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.
In sixth grade I entered St. Thomas Choir School — a boarding school in the heart of Manhattan. I was going to be part of a renowned choir, supporting transcendent services in a gothic-style cathedral — six services every week for the next three years.
The first-years were officially welcomed in an austere and beautiful service — organ, choir, and brass were blaring. The older boys were in pristine lock step with the movements of the service. The church held 1500 people, and that’s how many attended. About 15 minutes into this welcome service, I turned to my parents with tears in my eyes and said “can I go home now?”
It was overwhelming to experience such power, beauty, transcendence. Everything was overwhelming, and I remember thinking “How could there possibly be a place in all this for me?”
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I imagine the Hebrew people having something of a similar experience at the foot of Mt. Sinai. In our reading for today, the Lord spoke the Law to them. It was transcendent, powerful, beautiful. I imagine it left the Hebrews wondering: How could there possibly be a place in all this for me?
What they hadn’t realized yet was that they were not the focus of the Law, God was. In this Mosaic Covenant, YHWH was promising to shape the people of God — this is what I am like, and what you will become.
This is why Moses can encourage them: “Do not fear, for God has come to test you…” (Ex. 20.20a). “Testing” doesn’t sound very nice, but this was no mere pop quiz (as I confess I had assumed my first day at St. Thomas was — Is Michael going to be good enough?). This “testing” was the working-out of this promise to shape the Hebrews— like refining a bit of unearthed gold — into YHWH’s powerful force for good and restoration in the world.
Of course the Hebrews — God’s firstborn children — had a place in it, so long as they gave themselves to YHWH as their Father.
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It can be scary to come into contact with such profound beauty, goodness, and power. Paul describes this in our New Testament reading today: it is impossible for us to do what we know is right consistently! But that’s not the point of God’s giving of the Law. God was promising to make the Hebrews into the people of the good and the beautiful — he would teach them to live the language of YHWH.
God is still doing this work with his people today. Let us “delight in the Law of God, in my inner being…” (Rom. 7.22a), because our place depends not on our ability, but on God's promise. He will shape us in the image of the good and the beautiful (himself!), if only we will give ourselves to him.
This is the good news of the Gospel, that you can know true goodness and beauty in YHWH through the person of Jesus — and you have a place in it.
Michael King is an associate rector at Village Anglican Church. He enjoys singing, playing with his two wonderful boys, and cooking with his wife Hannah.