A Tool that Helps Me Pray
If you’re like me, you may have a lot of voices in your head competing for attention, which makes praying very difficult at times. This is especially true when I’m trying to go to sleep and can’t stop thinking about the day. Sometimes I lay there with my eyes wide open seeing everything that I could have done better. “Stop it!” I tell myself, but that doesn’t seem to work. In Philippians, Paul tells us to think about what is “good, true, and beautiful”— but many times my mind likes to focus on my failures instead. Sometimes I get stuck replaying a sinking memory that sends tinges of pain; sometimes I imagine a pretend situational homerun where I look amazing, and everyone is impressed. Still other times I am frantically processing something that still needs to be done or that threatens to be undone which then manifests as heartburn and anxiety. So, again, if you're like me, you could use some help.
About a year ago a friend of mine sent me a link to some Anglican prayer beads. I didn’t know that much about them, but I decided to give it a try and see if I could use them to help me in my prayer time. I did more research and found that using prayer beads is an ancient Christian practice going back at least to the 3rd and 4th centuries. I have seen a handful of different instructions for using the beads, but I have worked myself into a method that I have found to be personally edifying and “peacifying” (a word of my own creation, but an accurate description). Here is a brief description of how I use them:
As I work my way through the first row of beads, I repeat the Jesus prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.” I repeat this prayer seven times, once for each of the seven beads representing the days of the week. As I repeat this prayer, I am imagining myself with Jesus and focusing on the words I am saying. Another prayer I began to use similarly was “I lift my eyes up to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of Heaven and Earth.” Speed is not the goal in praying these prayers; rather, kneading the truth into my heart— like dough, folding and pressing and folding again. One prayer I just began to use regularly is: “Lord Jesus, give me the desire and motivation to do what pleases you today,” echoing the language of Phillippians 2:13. I am using this prayer because I have felt a little aimless at home the past few days, and I could use some energy to do what I know I need to do.
On either side of the seven “week beads” come the larger Cruciform beads. On those beads, I usually repeat a medium size passage I want to memorize, like Phillippians 4:6-8 or another passage that holds truth I’m fighting to believe in any particular season. Then I go right back to the shorter prayers of the weeks. It is valuable to stick with one set of prayers for a good while to give the passage and prayers time to form us, so I don’t change up the content of my recitation too frequently.
I know that some Christians may be a little concerned about repeating the same prayer over and over, and this is an understandable concern. When we meditate as Christians, however, we are not emptying our minds as eastern religious meditation would suggest; we are filling our minds with truth, and working that truth down into our core until it becomes part of us. Like the author of Psalm 136, we repeat what is worth repeating, and we do this instinctively when we are memorizing anything, especially Scripture.
And then finally, on those nights when my mind is racing I grab my beads, and with just a few times around the circle, before I know it, I’m asleep. Thank the Lord, “for He gives to His beloved sleep.”